Volume 2, Issue 1

January 7, 2002

Beyond Success Newsletter

The Art of Being -- Achieving Your Goals

by Trish Pratt

Many of us look forward to the new year as not only a breaking away from the stress of the holiday season, but also as a new beginning and time of renewed focus. It seems that the older we get the more likely we are to look at the new year in the context of looking at the rest of our lives. And though it may not always be as specific as making New Year's resolutions, focus often turns to the things about ourselves or our lives that we'd like to change.

Making resolutions may feel great to some. Others, wanting to avoid failure and disappointment, avoid making any firm commitments in this way. Sure, reaching a desired goal would feel great. But having failed at the same goal in the past (or having failed at holding onto the changes), the frustration that comes from lots of effort and no lasting success still comes to mind.

For those of you who have turned away from making any New Year's resolutions, or from considering any personal goals, it may just be that past strategies have gotten in your way or have worked "against" you, rather than "for" you.

Often when setting a goal, we hold the goal away from us, seeing this desired change as being very different from who we are. This way of seeing the goal as being "out there" makes it only more difficult to achieve. Striving for the goal often sets us up as if we have a rubber band in the center of us. As we move closer to the goal, the tension on the rubber band tightens and we get further away from being who we are. This very tension pulls at us to return to normal and to who we know ourselves to be -- thus making it very difficult for us to sustain the desired change. We may reach our goal, but in time are quickly pulled back to the way we have always been. Over time we decide to just let go of trying to make this desired change.

So... if you fall into this category and are sitting on the edge of a goal or two, consider a different approach. Rather than striving for or chasing your goal and creating a rubber band of tension in yourself, consider the following steps as a way of simply "being the goal."

Being the Goal

PART A

Write down the answers to the following questions:

  1. What do I want? Briefly describe exactly the goal or change that you would like to make. (Example: I'd like to lose 20 pounds.)
  2. Who would I be if I reached this goal? Describe personality traits, characteristics, qualities, etc. (Example: I'd be a person who is committed to my health and eating well. I'd feel good about myself. I'd see myself as slim. Eating well would just feel very easy and normal to me. I'd be more disciplined.)
  3. How would it look and feel if I had this? How would my routine, energy level, relationships, schedule, etc. look? (Example: I'd have great energy. I'd schedule my exercise time into my schedule and feel easily committed to it. I'd have more of a social life.)
  4. How would I feel? (Example: I'd feel great! I'd be proud of myself, more comfortable with myself and wear clothes that I enjoy more. I'd be more outgoing.)
  5. What parts of my answers to the above questions can I "be" right now? The emphasis is on "being" here... Not achieving, attaining, someday when, etc. Consider how good it might feel (not to mention the pressure it might relieve) to just "be" the end result right now.

PART B

Use positive re-enforcement to instill and support you in "being" this new way.

  1. Write a vision for your life that includes a description of yourself as being this new way. Keep this written vision in a place where you will read it regularly.
  2. Write reminders and affirmations for yourself that describe the "new" you. Remember to read these on a regular basis. (See Additional Resources section below.)
  3. Use guided imagery/relaxation sessions to support you in being this change. Consider using a relaxation tape or enlisting the help of a hypnotherapist to create a tape to address your specific needs. (A hypnotherapist will often let you tape the session to use as on-going reinforcement.) (See Additional Resources section below.)
  4. Be patient with yourself. Appreciate all forward movement towards your goal and remember that small steps are often the most lasting. Refuse to beat yourself up for falling off of the goal sometimes by remembering that "the present is perfect."

So ease the tension -- especially the "rubber band" tension that comes from striving to be something outside of yourself. Consider the vision you hold for your life, and realize your potential by simply "being" the best of who you want to be.

Wishing you peace and light in the new year,
-Trish

~~~~~~~~~~<<<<<<<>>>>>>>~~~~~~~~~~~

About Trish

Trish Pratt is a professional certified coach and consultant. She is also a certified PaperRoom coach trained in pattern recognition (see www.momentumcoaching.com/paperroom.html for more details). Trish helps managers and other professionals bring their best clarity, communication and leadership to their work. She does this with one-on-one coaching, training/workshops, and through articles she writes. Contact Trish today for a complimentary consultation at: 978-298-5561 or via email at: trish@momentumcoaching.com.

Subscribe/Unsubscribe

Beyond Success is written and produced by Trish Pratt. Please send any feedback, suggestions or coaching questions to trish@momentumcoaching.com. If you have friends, family, co-workers or neighbors who might be interested in receiving this newsletter, please let us know. Your friendship and referrals are most appreciated!

Anyone can subscribe to the Beyond Success Newsletter, by sending an email
To: Success-request@momentumcoaching.com
Subject: subscribe (To unsubscribe - Subject: unsubscribe)

Thank you for reading this issue of the Momentum Coaching Beyond Success Newsletter. This newsletter is a free email publication from MomentumCoaching.com.

Legal Notice

© 2002 Momentum Coaching, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

"The PaperRoom" is a trademark of Boston Coaching Company. Trish is a certified, licensed PaperRoom coach. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter as long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached.